I know that some people may disagree with me. But I just wanna tell my point of view from a different perspective.
When people are about to get married, there has been an endless issue with the price of mahr (dowry). I noticed that increasing the dowry for the woman nowadays is “a great deal”. Since its price can show who the woman is.
Let’s say, if the woman is really really good, smart, rich, famous, coming from a high-class family, she and her family think she ‘deserves a luxurious dowry’. They will demand the man to fulfill their wishlist, sometimes just for the sake of society, friends, and neighbors. Then if the man cannot do it, the woman will refuse to marry with an excuse: financially unstable. Why? cause if she keeps continuing with the cheap dowry and standard wedding, her friends and family will surely talk bad about it behind.
As a result, this leads to marriage reluctance. People think that getting married is such a luxurious event — very expensive so saving for years and years is really needed.
In Islam, marriage is ‘something’ and we are suggested to ease the process of completing half a deen. We are suggested to reduce the mahr as it’s sunnah. I know you may have been familiar with the story of Islamic inspiring women in the past that were proposed by something no special (if we see from today’s perspective). But, did it reduce their self-quality, even in society? Oh, totally NO!
Well.. you know
I am a woman and I do really agree that woman is precious..
And because we are precious, MONEY cannot define us. A sum of money will never exactly show who we are. We are more than just pieces of gold, luxurious jewelry and whatsoever. We are PRICELESS even objects cannot define us. So why should we bother the man who wants to complete his deen with us?
One more thing, the luxurious wedding. Sometimes because of pursuing such a prestige, both will work hard just to afford “a day-long event”. Then after the wedding day, both can eventually be poor, miserable cause they got no savings left and all of the money has been wasted. Notice it or not, this happens in our surroundings.
You know, when the day is over, it is actually the first step for a looongg loongg journey to go through. For the settlement, the living cost for both, unexpected things (such as being sick/accident), pregnancy (later on), school fees, etc.
So, the point is.. I am here not pretending to be a marriage enthusiast or a counselor. Because of this frequent phenomenon, I just wanna invite you to be a modest woman who is so priceless and cannot be compared by any objects.
Let’s be wise to spend our money, too. Don’t do it for the sake of people. Think further that life is long and unpredictable..